Cursed Day one of 2019. 3,000

(It has been a slow start I do hope it picks up or I fear I might be changing stories. I just don't feel it yet.)

Cursed

Nano 2019

Chapter One: (Here we go)

Idrias relaxed as her father stood up, as that would let her leave. It was always harder to be at the table when there were visitors, but he had told her that she was now too old to not join the family. Now that she had control it was important that she was seen. There had been enough damage done by the fact that so many had seen her change when she was a baby. Not that it was her fault, of course. She couldn’t help the cures she was born with. It was just unfortunate that it wasn’t found before there were visitors.  Still it did need to be fixed, now that she was at a point it could be. The more that saw her the better the fear would be laid to rest and the easier it would be for her siblings to find a spouse. Just as long as she behaved herself and proved that she could at least appear and act like a healthy whole person that was. No changing anything, not even an eye, remember to be quite. Speak when addressed for it wouldn’t do to be thought unintelligent, but stay to fitting answers. Things a lady should know. She shouldn’t come off as to bright for that would alarm them as well. Mind her manners, but remember that she was not a child anymore. It was all very trying during the normal meals when it was just the family. Times like this with guest were doubly hard, for they were watching closer and feeling the eyes made her sure she was messing something up. All in all she would much rather have stayed in the back rooms like she had up to last year. However she did understand that she had a duty to her family and no one could have everything they wanted, so she did her best to be presentable and hide how she felt.

 She nodded at the girl next to her and moved back from the table. “Indeed that was a bit scandalous, but Mr. Markland did say in the preface to his work that it was not intended for the young readers as he would be giving more details of the experiments than he had in his prior books. From that I was expecting it to be upsetting, if not as detailed as it was. It is sad that those things were done but to let them be forgotten would be far worse. It would let the suffering of the victims be trivialized. Did you know that there are already those in Olster that are saying the experiments never happened? That is why the book is needed now, why he is taking such steps to see that all the labs are documented.” She hoped that sounded all right, she could bet that her sister was upset but she just couldn’t let it go. It wasn’t right to let some events be swept under the rug because they were upsetting. We should learn from the past, the bad and the good, not hide from it.

The other girls smiled and nodded. “Just so. That is what I was trying to get it. It isn’t that he spoke of the breading labs but that no others did that was my issue. It is upsetting more that they would hide what was done. That isn’t helping the few servitors any and most defiantly the full records are needed if there is to ever be a chance of a cure.” Idrias flushed a bit, embarrassed at so having misunderstood her, but it truly had sounded to her like she was upset over the details of the book.  “I find it hard to believe that they are so able to forget it. they have left all talk of the labs out of all the school text books in Olster! I don’t see why, but it is so and is indeed a concern. I mean they barley even talk about the making of the virus even. It is like they want to forget it is even there. Yet they would say we are the backwards ones.  It is. Granted we do need to do more to see that rights are respected for all, but we are not trying to hide from the reality of our responsibility. They go out of their way to not say that the virus was created and they had just as many labs working on it as we did.” That caused some coughing, but the other girl just shrugged. “I did get a bit loud didn’t I? Sorry, but it is something that has come up a lot in my Governments class this past semester so made a good deal of my final. Idrias will be going to Everton? You need to take Professor Milacseter’s class, if so. You would like it every bit as much as I am, I bet.”

Idrias glanced at her mother, but saw that she was too busy to help. Just what was Everton and why would she? It must be a school of some type, but clearly not here. Best not to point out that I am not fit, there is no need to remind them of my condition. “I am sorry I misheard you so badly. I was just reading an article on Olster’s new education standers and had just finished the review on their history curriculum. I do not see just how they are able to set it aside so easy, but then the labs they had were all away from their cities and closed before those here did. Or at least it appeared so, but yet they have been coming out with new treatments as well so there is some speculation. I have not yet reached the science so am not sure how they are going to explain the emergence of Wearvector without the labs. I mean surly they are not going to try and say it is a natural virus.” She saw her mother slight frown, and realized she was going to far, that such concerns with a neighboring lands government was out of the accept topics for the lady she was to appear to be. “However this is hardly the place, I let my words escape me. I do tend to get a bit carried away, for all it is hardly needed.” She was not sure just what to say so stood up, hopping that would give the other a  way out, as she had to be looking for. It could hardly be pleasing her to have been talking of such matters. I do wonder though, for she doesn’t look upset as Susan would had I dared talk to her about the report. Still I shouldn’t have forgot myself so as to bring it up. The study of the labs is barely fitting, being more of history than science, the matter of government is entirely out of the areas I should concern myself with as a lady. It is just so hard to remember. And it is madding because it only matter as I am a shifter, it would be fine to have other interests if I didn’t have that. Yet as I do I have to always watch that I don’t come off threatening or hard to control, least I be thought wild. After all shifters need to be governed, for the virus mess with our brains. Not that I see it, but that is what I have been taught and I do need to make sure that I am not casting more of a shadow. They don’t need it to be any harder than it is where we are on the North border and so basically forgotten by most of the other districts until there is a problem in the waste lands.

Alice smiled, hoping that Idrias could see it and realize that she was doing fine. The poor thing did struggle so, but she was doing just as she should. I can’t believe that Natalie would bring such talk up, and in mixed company. I should have thought and explained that they sent their child to out Kingdom schools as so they were a bit less refined. I just never thought they would be that bold, but should have. Thank goodness Idrias had the sense to answer her, if only she hadn’t have gone on so. However she did realize that it wasn’t the place for such talk, if a bit late. That is more than Natalie did. To ask Idrias if she was going to University of all things! Just what would make her ever think. That was nicely avoided, I will have to give the girl that, for all I do wish she had of thought before saying she was reading that paper. Oh well, they clearly don’t see why it should be a concern so no harm done. Now to keep the child from running off, as clearly she was needed. None of the others would be able to keep up with those wild ideas. They, thankfully, were content to stay to the fitting areas of study. I do hate to encourage the child, but it must be. “Idrias, I know you want to get back to your papers, but remember that your Father asked that let them have the study for the night.” That should do, for all it might make it seem like the child needs watched, but surely saying that she would have been in the study will show that isn’t the case at all. I do wish that I could let her go, but Iron did ask that we all stay clear of the negotiations for now. “I know that you wouldn’t deliberately go there, but also know how you get so involved in the book you forget where you are and with that being your normal place best you just come with us.”

Idrias flushed a bit and nodded. “I fear that I had indeed forgotten and was thinking to go there. I would have remembered once I saw them, but that could have well been to late. I did make sure all my stuff was on the back table at least. Yes, I do fear that if I go to the library I would forget again. I do tend to get single minded at times.” I do wish I could go to my room, but mother wouldn’t ask me to join the ladies unless there was need. She knows how well I like sitting and gossiping. So hinging her sigh she walked with the others to the sun room.

One of the ladies laughed. “That is just normal with the young dear.”

Another said. “Young my foot! Who was it that walked right in to the lake watching the clouds last week? Face it Gladys you are just as bad as the child, just because it isn’t books you obsess over.” The lady just laughed harder, but nodded, not looking the least upset. “Dear, you don’t need to fret so we all have things that can grab us. There is no harm in it as long as you don’t drown yourself or someone else. If I was at home I would be just as likely to forget that I was to stay out of a room for a bit. Only one that would be upset is Oliver, and once my Gorge explained you weren’t the least aware of the treaties he would settle back down. Gorge is used to it, he has to talk him down Natalie and I forget what he finds unfit. So you are nineteen now so getting ready for your exams, or do I have my years mixed up? Have you picked a school? There are so many to choose from now I must admit I am a bit jealous of you all. There were just four that we even had a chance at when we were of age. I do think that is why so few of us sat the exams. It is good to see more girls taking them. It might just get a few more places to open up and forget their silly restrictions. Limiting topics by gender, as if it matters. All that cutting some off accomplishes is to slow discoveries down. Just look at how long it took to make use of Mairea Cure’s work, just because the men felt it had to be wrong as she found it not them. That would be the person who discovered the way to minimize a hard drive without losing function. And that tells you what my passions is, and just why I so upset Oliver as females shouldn’t be into electronics of any type, most certainly not microcomputers.” Good the child is looking less frightened now. I do wonder why the poor dear looks so scared, she clearly would rather not speak. At least she was here, Walter wouldn’t come and would never have left his room if they were at my place. Not that every have Idrias with them, which is just a shame. Now I wonder if that is the child’s doing or if she was never given a chance to leave the family lands. I should have visited more and seen just what my brother was up to. I did think that my brother had gotten past the silly idea that being a shifter limited inelegance, but now I wonder. Idrias clearly has no idea what I was asking about, and she should be prepping for the tests. It might just be best that Iron is reminded of that tax credit. He should send some of his to schools in the allied lands, and that might just push him to. If he is following Fathers beliefs he will see it is not fit so will likely send her over the boys.

Idrias took a breath, wanting nothing more than to hide, but she knew that she had to say something. “I do find it hard to remember the roles that are expected in Gramilican, but do see the value of trying to respect their beliefs all the same. I do not want to be bound by them, but do not see the harm in showing respect to those that do. It is a small thing for him to ask, he is truly showing a good deal of tolerance. A lot here is considered heresy in his home, yet he ignores it. The least we can do is stay away from the treaty talks. It is no hardship to leave them the study. I dare say it would be fitting if they closed it for week not just the evening they have asked for it. I am glad that I was reminded before I went there. I have never found Ambassador Walker to be anything but respectful and do hope he has found me the same, for all I am a bit to bold at times.” That should do, no need to tell her that she is wrong about the beliefs. Where he has guessed at their home there has to be a reason he didn’t fix it so it is best left. I wonder why he, but then I was willing to listen and was trying to be respectful. I do wonder if this is why Annie isn’t with him this time, she would find it more upsetting than I do. I should stop, but yet. Mother is going to yell. “I am not aware of the work on the computers that Maira did, but her work on nanos was used to make the Wearvector. It was the key to how it was made inheritably. That legacy might have as big a role in the ignoring of her work as her gender did. Given when the first wearable computers came out they like were being worked on just around the time that the impact of the virus was being made public. All involved were named and that caused anything associated with them to be thought to be tainted.” She was surprised to see her mother nod, even as the lady flushed a bit.

Alice said. “Well said and that is a good point, I didn’t realize she was connected to the labs. The texts we had left out a lot of the names and I just am not interested enough to have looked them up. I find that time hard to read about, but that does indeed explain a bit more. I mean there are a number of well known female researches so I never did see why her work was disregarded. Come, there are chairs enough, no need to stand. Idrais can you stand there just a bit longer? I am going to go get that gown out and see if they can help make it wearable. Gladys is far better at that than I am. I still can’t believe that he sent that shade for you.” The others looked puzzled as she took off.

Sara said. “The gown for the crown ball, as we are hosting his majesty sent us gowns of course, and you all have dealt with it so can likely guess. Mine and Jane’s are fine, if a bit bright they at least cover us. However, the one he sent Idrias. It is. A streetwalker would run from it, I swear. I mean Helen you thought yours was bad, this will make it look good.”  

Alice came in then with the red gown on her arm. “Now dear just go put it on over the slip you have on. The slip is as good as house dress so you needn’t worry about us seeing anything, but it should fit just as well.” Idras too it and flushing a bit went to the washroom to put it on. Glad that she was not being asked to put on the slips that came with it this time.  “I truly do wonder just where they get these things from. Just why the court has to go to such lengths to embarrass the girls, I can’t believe that they wear such things themselves. They certainly never do when they come here, yet send them for ours.”