53735 day 25, and some of 24. :) (still in that week)

Once she was done with the food Sara went out the lobby as it was to late to get any work done on her paper before the buses arrived. She looked around the lobby not sure what she was looking at, just wanting to still her thoughts. Today was going to be a long day, depending on the tests. Some would be sent back at the usual time others would be kept until dark. What would they say if she was kept tell dark?

Zac said. “Worried about the tests? Don’t be, it will be all right. If they keep you, you can always say you asked to stay to shop. That is a ligament thing, and some will be doing it. The mall is a big draw.”

Sara smiled, but it looked forced. “So did you have a breakfast order or am I alone?”

Zac said. “Yes we had orders as well. Am I right to blame Jack? You know what he wants?”

Sara said. “I had to take my medicine in front him. It made him more worried about me. He is a healer, it is nothing sinister.”

Abiram said. “How do you know he is a healer?”

Sara said. “Just a feeling. It makes since, he recognized the medicine, and so few know my name, though I guess it could be ordered by description.”

Abiram looked at her. “Well it was a good breakfast. You sleep all right? You look a bit tired.”

Sara said. “I should have read my history book when I woke up. I had some troubled dreams after I went back to sleep. I never really thought about what the tests meant. The choices they bring. I always knew what my life was, never thought about what it wasn’t.”

Zac said. “Well sorry your sleep was troubled and Abiram I know you are going to disagree, but Sara it is time you did. You need to look fully at the options before you commit. You need to find what will make you happy, not just what will make others happy. We all do. That is why we are here. So we don’t  turn bitter from regrets.”

Abiram said. “I do not find fault in the asking of where do I belong. I just whish the answer was clear for you. The fact it is a choice is what bothers me. But yes you should pick the road that will have the least regrets. Both of you, all of us. It is not right to leave blinders on.” Sara looked at hem and wondered what was going unsaid. This was about more than her words, but it was not time to ask. Luckily the buses came and so the conversation could die.

At the testing cent Sara went right to the board this time there was no name for her tests, just two hour blacks spread thought the day. She looked art the numbers around hers and saw a few did have names but most were in blocks. She head Rebecca say. “What is up with this? So many gaps and no names to say what the test is. How ever do you prepare?”

Sara said. “The blocks mean test on many subjects thought that time. As you finish one you will be given another. Likely there will be a short brake at the hour. No doubt the breaks in between blocks is so they can decide what to give in the next block.”

“How would you know?”

Sara said. “I had one set yesterday, and am going off what was said. My first one is not for a bit, I think I will go walk the mall. I have a list of things to buy. Do you wish to come?”

Rebecca said. “We have a test. I take you have only academics? How sad, I am sorry you felt so unfit.”

Sara smiled. “Good luck in your tests. I am sure you will come out at a fitting place of a lady.” She turned so missed the outraged looked on Rebecca’s face Abiram how ever did not. He shook his head, and saw for the first time what his sister had long known. If any other had said the same Rebecca would have been pleased with the complement but from Sara she saw an insult where there was none meant. It was not fair to his sister. He wondered what had caused this distance. It should not be like that among classmates. But he could not speak of it, for it was not a man’s place to deal with women’s feelings.

Sara walked in to the mall and looked around in wonder, she had not seen the like, and was glad she had decided to come and make a plan before shopping. She walked the hall looking at the windows. She found it took the time she had to walk the two floors, but she had made a list of stores to visit. She didn’t see Jack though she was sure he was behind the cookies the sweets that were handed to her each break.

Sara sat down at the table across from Abiram. Glad to be though the set of tests. She knew she should go get in the lunch line, but she need to rest a bit. “My hand still fills like it is holding the pen. If I set it down I was handed a new test. I need to rest it a bit. How are yours going?”

 Abiram said. “You want me to get your food? Mine are going all right, nothing like that. I usually have a bit of a wait between them. How long tell you next set.”

A girl fell in to the seat next to Sara. “Not tell four, it is an hour and a half then we are off tell seven and back in until the last bus is to leave or they run out of tests, I am sure. If only they had something worth taking in them.”

Sara said. “You likely have more people in your room. This is Viv, and I think she is right. They want to give us every test they have, just to see if the can. Half of those were things I didn’t even know they had tests for. I will go get my lunch in a bit.  Viv, this is my brother, Abiram, and that is my cousins, Zac just sitting down.” She shook her head. “And the one come with a tray of food fit to feed an army is Jack, the one who is likely behind those cookies we given each break.”

Jack said. “Someone has to see you all eat right. He sat the tray down and added food to the boys plates, then gave Viv one. Sara had her hand on the table and he brushed it as he sat her plate down. There was a lot of strange foods on it. The mug he set down was not her normal tea. “I think you will like this. I will show you where to by it. there is no magic involved so you can have it at home. Humor me and try. I think it will help with the muscle aches, if you drink it in place of the normal tea. The peppers will help as well, they clean toxins, but only some of them can go home with you. There are a few other things I’d like you to take as well. Any chance of you coming over to the mall with me?”

Abiram said. “She can’t walk with you, just the rumor of that would land her in trouble. Even with things that happen here not to make it home. I need to be able to prove any such thing false. But should you happen to bump into each other. Well she would be rude not to accept your help. You think you can?”

Sara sipped the drink Viv looked from one to the other and shook her head. “I don’t know how you take it Sara. I would go mad if I was treated like I couldn’t speak for myself all the time. But the causal way he just answered tells me it is normal.”

Sara said. “Unwed women and most married women do not talk to males not related to them. Also at home Abiram would have the right to say where I went, what stores I could enter, and what I could by. It meant only to protect me. I suppose when not raised so it is hard to take. It is actually easer on me to let him answer. I keep waiting for someone to yell at me for being so bold.  That said, I plan on head over to the mall after lunch, my next tests aren’t until four and I have a bunch of things to look for. So why can’t I have tea?”

Jack said. “It takes time to adjust to how things are done out here. It was a bit before I was able to stop looking over my shoulder every time I talked to a girl, longer still to feel comfortable with my self. It is likely harder for girls because they are more restricted. Well look at the others that came with you, how they do not socialize with anyone else. I take it you know none of them?”

Sara said. “One, but I have never fit in, being a year older made me stand out. That is not a good thing for a girl. A woman should be the power in the back, she is the keeper of the light. It is not right to have a spot light on you. Rebecca, the one I know, is one of those who try to hard to be the ideal. We would never have got along, but more so when I am an oddity. I foolishly thought that going to school this year would make me look more like them, let me blend in. So I begged for it. But it only gave them another thing to find fault with.”

Jack said. “I didn’t mean to pry. I was just wondering why you weren’t with them. How it was you were alone enough to jump into our conversation. I whish there was a way to make it easier for you, not harder.”

Abiram said softly. “Why didn’t you say something? I could have pushed dad to bring others around. Or your teacher could have introduced to others. Not all would have felt that way. It was to make it easier for you not harder the year shouldn’t have been a burden.”

Viv said. “Wait so you can only be friends with certain girls even? And why are you older? No offence, but this keeps getting stranger. Why is it you guy don’t talk to the other sex?”

Sara smiled. “Not being raised near one of our towns it would be odd. That is something I have to keep reminding myself.  Well talking to the other sex would lead to inappropriate feelings and behaviors. Marriages must be guided they can not be ruled by hormones. Letting feelings over come reason is a part of what doomed us to this world. As women are the back bone, they should stay in the shadows. Therefore the only way to get to know a girl is if your fathers socialize, as that brings your mothers together and you get introduce. Your teacher, that is a church thing not school, might also introduce you to another girl in your class if she felt it needed to be done. But otherwise you have no way to meet each other, without advertizing your self, drawing attention to yourself. I never thought how odd that was, saying it though makes it sound like we are kept locked away. But it doesn’t feel that way. Likely I am just bungling the explanation.”

Zac said. “No, you have it right. You just don’t see it when you are living it. But I can think of no better way to say it. It is different for boys, we may talk freely to each other, even between years. A thing discouraged among the girls for fear they would learn things to soon to handle them. That is why she is a year older, she was unable to attend church instruction for most of a year and it was thought it would be easier to just put her with the younger ones. That she wouldn’t feel behind then, and it would give Anna her own year so she would not feel the need to compete.”

Sara said. “Well there is also the fear that close ties will make it hard on the girls should there intended be from a different town. It is not such a concern among the boys as they do not move. Well unless they are chosen to form a new town, but then they go in groups.”

Viv shook her head. “Forgive me, but that is nuts. We couldn’t come from more opposite places. My people are costal fisher folk, from the north.” Jack choked and Abiram looked at him oddly, Viv said. “Larger groups winter together in the same building, but summers a lot are out on the boats for weeks on end. It is expected that kids will experiment. Marriages are fluid the boats likely will not have the same people each time they go out. Oh and our leaders are all women, as the men tend to not care about government things. Not because there is a rule against it, they just seldom bother to do anything about laws and such.”

Abiram and Zac looked at each other. Sara smiled at them. “Good grief she is not a demon. She is not gone to do anything but help me navigate the mall. See you all later.”

Jack watched them leave and then said. “Guys, how is she going to go back after this? Did she ever fit? She just doesn’t seem a bit like my sisters were. I can’t image them here. I don’t know that they would have said two words to a man, little own tell ne they were wrong about something.” Zac shook his head.

Abiram said. “It is her home. I don’t think she knows yet. She is seeing what it feels like to not be who she was taught to be. I do not know what she will decide fits.”

Jack said. “What will you do if she picks this one? I feel it is safe to say she will have plenty of offers. So you might want to think about it. Yes I will be making her the best one I can. But no it is nothing personal. I lean the other way.” I think it is safe for me to wonder towards the mall now.” With that he go up and left.

Zac said softly. “Am, I’m sorry about this. I really am. But he is right. Uncle Isaac is not going to accept it well. You need to think about it. I don’t think he will ban me, but it is likely he will her. It is a bigger stain to loss a daughter. If he does in front of her, you will have to make the first move if you want to talk to her. She will not push you to go against him. She will hate it, she loves you, but she will not come between you and him.”

Abiram said. “You have decided then? Where will you go?”

Zac said. “I just don’t have a choice. I can not stay. Not as I am. I do not want to live a live. I have no interest at all in marrying a young lass and running her life because I can not be what she needs. I do not want to go into research I have no interest in developing new drugs. Yes I can ask for permission to study medicine, but that won’t fix the required marriage. I just. I want to, I don’t want to leave, but I can’t stay. I don’t know where I will go yet. I just know I must. I was hopping this week would give me what I needed to stay but. I’m sorry Am. I. You could likely get her to stay, but think about her.”

Abiram said. “You told me long ago that you would not be baptized. I didn’t know what you were really trying to tell me, but I meant it when I said you will always be my family. She is to, I just. I guess I had blinders on, I just never looked. I should have known she wasn’t happy. I should have done more than let her sneak books.”

Over at the mall Jack stood back and watched. It was not a friendship he would have expected, but it would help her. Vileiot had the strength of her people, and would be able to help Sara find her way. Sara had knowledge of a town living folk to help Vileiot adjust to life at a more restrained pace. They would both be lost, but together they would have what it took to make it. It was a good fit, and they fit each other. The fun they had with the boys proved it. He was sure Sara knew that Viv’s people really were not as light in love as there reputations made them out to be Smiling he walked over to them. “Finding anything good?”

Viv said. “A few things, we have just escaped a fabric shop. I had no idea there were so many kinds of thread. My sister is going to be delighted Now to see what kind of spices I can find for my brother. Care to join us?”

Sara said. “I found a few things for my mom and sister, but most was not what they could use. I hope I can do better in the next store. I want a special gift for Anna’s wedding. She will be going to the new town, so needs a bit of something to make it more comfortable.”

Jack said. “I think we can find something. How dose she feel about going out there? It won’t be easy.”

Sara said. “She is looking forward to it, I think. Her intended has been out there most of a year, and has the house ready for her. But warned her it is bear, being a new house it has yet to have anything done to make it feel welcoming. He is even waiting on her before buying more than the basic appliances. Witch had dad frowning when she read it to us. I don’t think father approves of him, but I think he will make Anna happy.”

He led them into a store that was full of teas and spices. “I think you can each find a few things here.” He waved at the person behind the counter, and then started them down the first row. “Now most of these have some healing properties, but that depends on how they are used.” He then walked them though the store giving them lessons and recommendations. They each left with the shopping baskets heaver some items had detailed instructions others were intended to be used just for added flavor. “There is one more thing I want you to try taken Sara, and one I want you to take after the other medicine. However each come from a shop you would never enter on your own.” He stopped out side of a store advertising the sale of magical items, but she didn’t need to read the sign. “So will you trust me?”

Sara said. “I will not enter the store. I can’t. But I will take the items. That is all I can the danger I can agree to. Anything from there is going to be a risk. I can not add the chance of being seen in there.”

Jack said. “That is more than fair. I do not mean to force you. I know how hard it can be. I just couldn’t give you the items and not have you full know what I was asking. I will go get them. Why don’t you go check out that store? It can easily be blamed on Viv if you are seen in a clothing store, right?”

Sara said. “Maybe I can find a new pair of boots. I need some these are really to small.”

Jack said. “Well, not likely there, but that is a good excuse for visiting all sorts of clothing stores. I will be a bit, and will have the owner type up the instructions. One of these you need to be careful with.” Jack watched them go into the store, and hoped Viv could tempt Sara into trying on a few things at least. That store would have some concretive items, and she would need close when she left. There likely wasn’t much she would find near Newton, and they wouldn’t let her ware the habit if she didn’t take the vows.

He went into the store and up to the counter. The mediations were not kept out on the floor, in fact one he was after was under lock. When the proprietor came out Jack said. “I need twenty of Selanly root, with the instructions on them to read take a soon full the morning after taking Ambeivlen. I also need double that of Exterm. The instructions are on this note. I have supervisors approval on both of these items.”

“Why is it you kids never bring me anything easy? Let me see the note.” She read it and looked up. “You sure about this? That is not a normal doses and if the person is on Ambeivlen this could react badly.”

Jack said. “The Ambeivien is taken only as needed, and she avoids it until there is no choice.  It is her best shot at getting way from having to take the Ambeivien. She had toxic and no one flushed it right. This late caught it will be a fight, but I think it can be done.”

The lady frowned. “Why the devil? One of the last? Poor thing. I have to check, you understand. Give me a few.”

Fifteen minuets later the proprietor was back and set three contains with type labels on the counter. “The school is paying.”

Jack looked at the last. “I am not sure about that one. She is an untrained mage, and in a separatist community. I am worried about it waking her power more than she can handle. It is all ready stirring.”

“You said it was toxic. The gifts in her have been active since she recovered. This won’t affect it. You were right to be concerned, and if it wasn’t Toxic that caused it I wouldn’t let you have it. If she hasn’t burned then she has had some teaching. Likely doesn’t know it if she is separatist. A lot of the first lessons can be passed of as games. Have you told her?”

Jack said. “Not directly, I thought it better if she realizes on her own. I gave her the book, and asked her to read it. But if she has been taught she has been seeing more than I thought. I might have been.”

“No kid, that was the right way to do it. She likely has been wondering. But needs to come t terms on her own. It is a big choice she must now make. You have no idea.”

Jack said. “I have a rough idea of what it means, but no, I can’t know the toll it will take on her. I didn’t want to add to the burden, but you know more of what Toxic would have done then I. If you say it will add no more harm I will ask her to take it. Should I warn her?”

“You might tell her she may see more elements after taking it, but she can tell them to leave if they get to be a nuisance.”