2020 day1 I have no idea what I am doing. Is there even a story here? 1794

 

I should not be here this is a mistake. I don’t belong here, not then and defiantly not now. Before I was just a bit out of step, but still could fit, there was a place here. I was happy working in the archives, away from notice. I didn’t want to go, I never wanted the tests, yet haply I went as I was told. If only they had of told me that Alanta was there and so I needed to watch the score then it would all be different. I wouldn’t be the traitor that I am. All it took was that one little thing, that small detail changed everything. If only I had of known I could have seen to it that I did just well enough to place high in Texas pool, but not so high as to get Alanta’s attention. It would have been easy, I knew the scores needed. Yet they didn’t tell me and I had paid no attention. I didn’t expect to sit the test. Father never hinted he was considering sending me away. That he felt it was needed. I knew there was politics involved in them, there is politics in everything when you are a Governor’s child. I just thought that would see that I was kept away.

Still it wouldn’t have been as bad, if I could have just kept unnoticed once I was at the school. After all I was not the only one so caught that year. Even one of the princes was there, and he was not any happier about it than I was. For all he had less to fear than I did. Not being mage born and clearly Fay.

Well at the start, now then. I do wonder if it is as hard for him. At least we are not at the capital. Still his father is down there next to mine. This is not going to be good. Even if his father was more understanding than mine. If he even told him. Then he must have if not after the dragon, then when he bonded to his unit. There is no way he would try to hide that he would not be returning. After all the unit he is in is sworn to the Alatain crown. He would have seen he was free of his titles before accepting the burden that comes with the ties, for all there was no going back. She resisted the urge to look over at Daren, flying with the rest of the Ninjas. No need to risk it, for all it was a small risk given the distance. Last thing she needed was for any of them to think she was willing to join them. There was too much of that talk as it was. For all they should know that the bond wasn’t there. If it was there would be no way she could have refused all this time. Some still said it would happen. Then a lot of the units did. Just the fact that she had leaned on Rick so much those first years made his claim seem more creditable to those of the court that took interest in the units.

So funny to see that house again. To think it was just ten years ago I left it feeling just as scared as I do now, for all it was for far different reasons. Then it was because I didn’t want to let my family down more than I had. Yet I had no idea how to act on learning I was being forced to go into the lands that Father had band all talk off. The place he saw as only slightly better than Darkness, only as they did not commune with the daemons and are not know to feast on blood like the Darkness soldiers are. Now I wonder just why he hates Alanta so, but then I was just scared of what would they would do to me. I had never been further than the next city so going to any of the schools would have been bad, but to be going to there was worse than any nightmare. At the time I just knew I was heading to a fate worse than being left in forest, which was what my older siblings would threading me with. It did scare me a lot when I was little, but it also saw to it that I paid attention to all the lessons the foresters would give me. Those lessons have saved me ten times over, for all the torn dresses did cause a few problems. I should thank them, not that I can. I just now that my being here is going to be a problem. There was no answer to my letter about the bond, and I bet none after it were read. I do see why that would be. I don’t blame them. It is nothing more than what my actions earned. It just makes this worse. I shouldn’t be here, it is just going to make the talks harder, and there were enough problems.

Ryden snorted, sending out a small puff of smoke, and his voice filled my mind. ‘You are jumping at shadows, my dear. You do not even know that those there will know you. You had changed a lot even before our blood bond, and you know that woke your sleeping side. You look little like those there that gave you life. I still do not see why you are so sure they will resent you for a bond you cannot control. They are not like the Valdens and see all bonds as being demonic after all. I would have expected this tension in you on the mission to them, but you were not even slightly worried. Yet here where there is more in common you are acting like they are greeting us with weapons drawn and armed. Relax. One more turn then we are to land next to Mist, not behind. They said that there was to be no mistake about who we were, for all you would be content to go unnoticed.’

I tried to relax, but it wasn’t easy. Still he did have a point, I was over reacting, but it was hard not to, when I knew just what I was walking into. ‘Think of it if it as your home not mine. You would be reacting just as I am love, and for the same reasons. We both have reasons that we do not return to the place we started life. Neither of us are welcome to those that saw us through our first years, we are not who we were and do not fit with those that taught us our first lessons. The Glacer land empire needs this pact to work. My being here is going to make it harder. I betrayed my home by joining Glacer’s forces, little own taking a rank as a speaker for the Crown. Yes it was only fitting and I earned it. I would not change even if I could, that doesn’t stop me from wondering what would have been. More so as I am confronted with what I missed. Glean and Firesong should be here not us, even without my ghosts. We are going to have challenges they wouldn’t. Even should my father not know me, which is hardly a sure as you think, it won’t take long for them to work it out. After all Rick and Daren both call me Issy still, and Daren still looks a lot like his father, no matter the years that have separated him. That said I will do my best not to make things worse by assuming the worst.’ I forced myself to relax more, hoping to look untroubled and happy to be her as we went in for the landing. Never mind that I hated the show I had to think of appearances as I was indeed here to represent the Crown in voice not just as an ambassador. Never mind the shakiness of the tie.

We landed next to Mist and without needing to be told I dismounted, and moved forward.  “Given the numbers here it looks like we have missed the time we were expected to arrive. I do hope that we are not bungling the plan to badly. I do know what a mess these events can be.” Father is looking stressed, and Walter more so something is going wrong, but I don’t think it is us, for all a number of the dragons here are in the local colors. That is odd just why. Oh dear someone thought us a threat, for all the peace banner is flying. I had best let it know that we take no offence, just to not laugh. I mean they do not have a threatening force here. Then they know little of what we are.

Roland said. “You are right on time, but then I would expect nothing else. That is why I had my Ninjas fly with your team, Highness. I knew that you would see they got here as expected, not two hours late as they tend to do on their own. No, it seems that somehow one of the local units received incorrect instructs and so there is a bit of gathering here, but still room enough, so no worries.”

I shook my head a bit, leave it to him to work the title in. that wasn’t needed. Well two can play at that game. If he is going formal so will I. “Come no Majesty you need not give an excuse for the escort, you know me better than that.” I saw the recognizing in my Father faces and a flash of anger in my eyes. My voice had not changed as much as my body. “I know full well how it would have been taken by the towns we passed had we not been accompanied by troops flying a flag better received. Your land might be seen as distant, but they do know that Alanta is peacefully and have some trade. Whereas Glacer is just spoken of in old tales and more feared than trusted do to the way we left. Hopefully we can change that, for all we should have reached out before the need was grave. Trust me, I do fully understand that our being here is causing fear. We expect it, but the only way to fix it is by getting out of the shadows.” It was hard not to laugh at the faces, they were clearly relived. For all they were just as clearly confused, not having the slightest idea just who I was. That is my relation to Glacer.