39295 lots of words but little movment

 

Steven said. “Thank you and I do hope they have given someone the right to speak for them. I just wish it wasn’t needed. This isn’t letting you get changed.”

I said. “I do not know what you were told about the barrier here but I can see you are upset with Henry. I think you have a right to know a bit more about why it is there before you judge. I do not know if they know why Elisabeth fears the Fay, but her relatives there told me. Her grandmother was a half blood but looked full and had Fay magic. She went insane when her youngest child was six and started using those gifts on her children. It was not found for three years, by then none of the children were well. Some never recovered. Elisabeth mother healed and was fully able to live, but what was done scared her to badly to ever trust a Fay and that fear was shared with her children, by reading them dally the worst stories she could find. Hear that from a young age would scare anyone. Being taught to hate from the cradle can destroy a person. It is a good that she just seeks to keep them away not to destroy what she fears. That should be respected. Now then I do need to change, so do excuse me. Just know that I do understand that I will scare her. I will not take offence at anything that happens because of that fear. If I could I would hide more of my Fay aspects.” That might help as that could be a part of the problem. With that I left, not giving them time to answer. This was a problem, and I feared I was just going to make it worse.

I made it to my room and shook my head a bit for there were two servants from the house there with Oliver. Before I could speak Will saw me and bowed flushing a bit. “Beth said you would need a cup of tea before lunch and this short time that you might want another set of hands so sent me to help. Jane is here for the books. I tried to tell her, but you know Beth. She still says I should have gone with you.” He held the cup out to me, smiling a bit. I could see he hadn’t changed much, and saw his hand on the clothes waiting for me as that was not the way Oliver had been setting them out, but was how I had asked him to years ago. I had been picky, but then I was told to be.

I shook my head a bit, and took the cup from him. Just how did he convince Oliver to let him offer it to me? Well I guess that means Oliver approves of him. “That’s fine Will. I should have known what she had in mind. Oliver can you get someone to help Jane with the files? Jane this is them, so see there are a few too many. Are you comfortable talking to the researchers?”

Jane nodded. “Yes, Ma’am, I have been assigned to help them find items. Also I am to ask if by chance you happen to have a copy of Ashton?”

I smiled. “Yes and uncensored as well, made from a first printing. I will bring it down as soon as I can, and I should have the Fay map of the lines then as well. Now then this the map and the files under it are battle reports. This stack is the catalog data I have here, but there is more coming. It should be here Wednesday, they are too big for the messengers so a patrol will drop it off.” A dark haired man entered from the court yard and bowed slightly. “Gather this all needs to go to the library, Jane was sent for it but I didn’t want her to try and take it alone.”

Gather moved and too the books leaving her the map and files, which she gathered up. “I’d hate to see her try. It is no trouble for me to help. I wasn’t doing anything anyway.”

Jane said. “Thank you and I will do my best to see you know the way back. Now they are going to try and put you to work.”

Gather shrugged. “No reason I can’t stay and help a bit. I won’t be needed for a few hours anyway. I should at least help with the map, our markings are a bit different.” They head out the door.

Once it closed behind them I sat the cup down and started undoing my belt. “Yes I will finish the tea, but I need to get changed so you can see to my hair. It needs to be done but out of my face. That dress is perfect, thank you.” I went to take of my shirt and stopped remembering my scars. I needed to say something, but how to?

Will said. “Do you need me to go to the other room as you change? I didn’t think but it has to be a bit odd to.”

I shook my head. “No. Just. Well you don’t tangle with demons like I have and not come away without some shocking scars to show for it.” I removed my shirt and he hissed a bit, but didn’t say anything so I dropped my pants and stepped out of them. Then turned to the bed only to see he was holding the slip for me. He was upset, but he clearly was not put off. I shook my head and took the slip. “I am not used to this anymore. It is strange just to have my clothes laid out.”

Will bowed. “I thought so, but well. It is odd enough to hand them to you and not. I have been working with Walter.” He picked up the dress and had it ready for me to slip on, clearly wanting to put it on me. “I did try and go home as you said I should, but well. I missed my place here. I worked in the kitchen for a bit, but Beth said you would be back and I shouldn’t forget my real duties so found me a place with one of the others.” He held the dress out and let me get it on, then atomically started to do it up.

I was able to let him get it started then flinched, he moved away, likely thinking he had went to far. After all he was a stranger now, for all he was a personal servant, and had been mine. Meaning he had taken care of me, cleaned up after me and shared my bed a few times before John. “No, its fine, finish zipping it. I am going to jump a bit, but will tell you if I need you to move. I lost a soul bond and it hurts a bit yet to be close to anyone, but light touches are needed to help me heal.”

He winced. “I didn’t know. No wonder. I just thought. Are the scars related?” He finished and moved back a bit. “You are sure I am not making it worse? It can’t be easy to have too many near you. If I had of known, I could have set out the hair things and let Oliver see to you. I am sorry.”

I shook my head. “No, the scares, a lot of the, came before then. I was not with Quin and it is not known just how it happened. None of the unit survived. It is fine, it was two years ago and I am getting past it. Now if it had of been six months ago then I would have asked you to leave. Now,” I looked at Oliver and took a breath. It would all come out anyway. “I am where I was three months after John.” That had Oliver look at me oddly, clearly wondering what wasn’t being said. I ignored the look and went to the chair so he could see to my hair. “Try to keep it a bit more like the ladies here, if you would. The dress screams loud enough and the Governor’s whole family will be there. He is concerned about what they will try to copy. Will do mind seeing to my boots as he gets my hair? I am going to be late” I had to smile a bit as Will knelt started taking off my shoes, clearly happy to. I just hope that I can stay still. I hate it but time is short. I should be there now. “Will I shouldn’t have left like did, it wasn’t fair to you for me to end you oath like I did. I was so angry when I left that I didn’t stop to think about how it would feel for you. I just wanted you to have the life you should have, not thinking to ask you what you wanted. I did to you just what was being done to me.”

Will said. “Mistress, you were hurt, you were acting in pain. Yes I hated it that you sent me away, but the anger didn’t last long enough for me to reach my room. I knew you and it was easy to see why you sent me away. You felt your life was ruined and there was no way you were going to take me down with you. You had to save me, and that meant sending me away. It wasn’t the first time, after all. I just wish I could have forced my way back in like I had before.”

I closed my eyes. “I am not a part of the house there is no need for you to deifier to me. I am not in a place that I can let you. Not right now, but I will see what I can do about it, if you want.”

Will said. “Need you ask? You know what my mother said about us. I would be delighted to be with you, but I do not want to intrude.”

Oliver coughed a bit and Nancy shook her head. “There that should do it Ma’am. There is just a bit of sparkle, but mostly just the combs show.” He hand me a mirror. “Thank you Will. I fear I would still be getting the combs right without your help finding them.”

I smiled a bit and stood. “This is perfect. As to stepping on toes well two things. One it doesn’t look to me like anyone feels you are and. Beth is going to have a fit if you tell her. I have no one sworn to me. Oliver and Nancy are both members of the Ninjas. Now Oliver there will be some spicy items, and some you might not know. Will can tell you what everything is but ask Steven’s tasters if you need help. It will show that I trust them. Now the lady in purple in pink is the Governor’s wife, and she will be frowning.” They looked at me and I shrugged. “Ten years will not have changed her color choices for state events. She insists it has to be house colors. The children will likely have a bit of one or both, but she will be fully in them. I never did find out how she determined those were the house colors. They are not on the seal or battle flags, but she insisted on it. Yes some of the dresses make your eyes bleed, but usually they are not too bad. All right, time to go.” I started walking. Mom is going to hat my outfit, she didn’t approve of leather in dress clothes, even if dyed and this was brown, though the trim was ice blue and gold, those were the colors on Glacier’s battle flag and crest. There was a small crown on the right shelve, and stars on the shoulders to show my rank. It was what I wore to most council meetings, but fit perfectly for this. From what I could see the combs were the ones with the Empire seal on them. Not something I liked to use, but right for this.  I belated realized that Will was still there, and I needed to give him permission to leave. To used to not having people around me wanting permission do what they knew they should. “Will Thank you for your help, I am sure that you have duties waiting on you.”

Will bowed, but was frowning. “I don’t want to go it is even harder to knowing that you have none sworn to you.  Yet you are right, I must.” He turned and left but I knew he would be around more and that there would be questions. Then again they likely knew by now why I had been in the house.

I made sure I was smiling as I entered the room and looked around. This was another one that you were to walk and visit not sit at a table. There were a few chairs but they were there for the older members and young ones who used them were thought rude. Just why this kind of gather was so well like I will never understand, but they were popular here. There were tables scared all over with different foods, but those were the only tables, and the chairs were not near them. I glanced at Oliver, but he was already moving to one of the tables so clearly he had been briefed. Knowing he would keep track of me I went on over to Roland and the Lord he was talking to. Trusting that it would be someone slightly friendly at this point.

Roland turned to look at me. “There you are, and you must be letting the boy do his job for once. Now then Jeff this is Anna and she is the one that can tell you if Glacier is willing to increase its trade in paper, not I. I do not have the right to speak for the empire.”

I said. “Now the trade talks aren’t to start until the opening, we don’t want to talk out of turn.” They laughed, as no one waited. “Do you already have some access to our paper? It is different than what is made here and some find it unusable.”

He nodded. “It is the difference that makes it wanted, my lady. We have some crossing from Jordan, where they have more of your goods, and found that the paper they use is far better in our presses and it is popular with the artists that can get it. However it is very hard to come by. Therefore I was wondering if there was a chance it would be offered.”

I hoped my surprise didn’t show. I didn’t expect any to be here from Cosher. Steven must have really been pushing the nations to send people. That was good, but troubling as well, for things must be worse than we thought. “Well then I am glad to be able to say that is one of the items we are hoping to find more markets for. However for any sizeable trade we will need to talk about repairing the road and that means your neighbor must be willing as well. So far we have not had any response to our requests for a meeting with them.”